caring is not an advantage
Danielle. Just having an allergic reaction to the universe. forever vertically challenged. queen of okay. teenage derp-bag. multi fandom blog.
From what I’ve seen, your happy-go-lucky little life leaves devastation in its wake. Always moving on because you dare not look back. Playing with so many peoples lives - you might as well be a God.
30 DAYS OF WHO, DAY 2.
Favorite female companion: Donna Noble.
“Donna. I’m a human being. Maybe not the stuff of legend but every bit as important as Time Lords, thank you.”
Well, no one knows how they’re gonna be remembered. We can only hope for the best. Maybe that’s what kept her writing. The same thing that keeps me travelling.
Whovengers. Breaking your Heart since 2012.
I feel a fic coming on…
—
“Welcome to Asgard!”
Donna stared at him with a touch of revulsion. “What-gard? Honestly, if you’re making fun of me again—”
“No! No, no, no! That’s really the name! You know…Norse mythology? Odin? Balder? Thor?”
Donna frowned but he saw it click as she nodded. “So…what. Even places from mythology are real?”
“You’ve been travelling with me for a while. You should know that nearly everything’s real.”
Donna rolled her eyes. “Well, get on with it!”
“Technically, this isn’t really Norse mythology. They’re from a different planet. Aliens.”
“So, how—”
But at that moment, the Doctor raised a finger to his lips, silently shushing her. Donna drew herself up indignantly (she hated it when the Doctor tried to shush her), but turned sharply to the bushes behind her.
There was something there.
The Doctor crept forward soundlessly, slipping his hand into his pocket and taking his sonic screwdriver out just in case, when a small boy fell out of the bushes and at the Doctor’s feet. Immediately, the Doctor swooped down and helped him up, brushing him off.
“Who are you?” the boy asked, glancing between Donna and the Doctor. He didn’t look scared, however. Simply curious.
“I’m the Doctor!” the Doctor replied, putting the sonic screwdriver back in his pocket.
“A doctor?” the boy asked before peering over his shoulder to look at Donna. “Is the fireheaded one a doctor too?”
Donna glared at the boy. “Oi! The name’s Donna and I’ll have you know—”
“Moving on,” the Doctor said hastily. ”Who are you?”
“I am Loki,” the boy replied. “And if you’re a doctor, do you think you can help me?”
“Help you? With what?”
The boy shifted from one foot to the other as if he wasn’t quite sure what to say. “I’m…different. I want to be fixed, if you can.”
The Doctor frowned, kneeling down so that he was the same height as the boy. “Fix you?”
He nodded. “Yes. I’m…different.”
Donna stepped forward and knelt down beside the Doctor. “There’s nothing wrong with being different.”
“There is if you’re a Prince,” he said. “My brother is a prince, too, but he’s much better at it than I am. Sometimes…sometimes I think Father loves him more than he loves me.”
“And what makes you say that?” Donna asked, her brows coming together.
“I…just the way he looks at him. I could never be as strong or as important as Thor. Father says we’ll both be kings and I believe him but it’s…hard. It’s lonely.”
Donna’s expression softened. “I know the feeling,” she said. “Like you’re not good enough. Not significant. But,” she looked to the Doctor for a moment before turning her attention back to Loki, “there’s nothing wrong with being a bit different. It doesn’t mean you won’t make a great king or that there’s something wrong with you. Do you understand?”
The Doctor grinned. “Couldn’t have put it better myself.”
Loki tilted his head slightly. Nobody had ever put it quite like that before. “But, my brother—”
“—is not you,” Donna finished. “And that’s perfectly fine.”
“In fact,” the Doctor added, grinning, “it’s fantastic. Can you imagine if everybody was your brother?”
“It would be rather strange, wouldn’t it?” Loki giggled before looking up at the sky and jumping up. “I have to go now!” he said, running down the path toward an enormous castle. He stopped, turning back for a moment. “Thank you!”
Donna stared at the spot the boy had stood. “So that was Loki?”
“God of mischief himself,” the Doctor nodded. “Lovely little fellow, wasn’t he.”
“He called me a firehead.”
“Well…you do sort of—”
“If you finish that sentence, space man, I’ll clobber you.”
~
“It’s been a long time, Doctor.”
The Doctor looked up in surprise to see a dark haired man in a stiff looking costume walking toward him, a smile playing on his thin lips.
Loki.
“Yeah…” he said, taking in the man’s appearance. He was much different from the boy that he had met with Donna on Asgard. “You’ve changed.”
Loki let out a small laugh. “You haven’t, though.” He dragged his thin fingers along the edge of the table. “I suppose Donna no longer travels with you.”
The Doctor paused for a moment before shaking his head. “No.”
“That’s a shame. I liked her hair,” Loki murmured, his grin widening as he sat down across from the Doctor. “The fireheaded one.”
The Doctor finally smiled. “She was rather hotheaded, wasn’t she.”
“She was interesting. What happened to her?”
The Doctor could feel his smile fade away slightly. He didn’t want to talk about what had happened. The wound was still fresh.
“She…she left.”
“Did you anger her?”
I thought I was gonna be with you forever. He could still see her face, the complete brokenness behind her eyes. He could remember how he had held her as her memories slipped away, one by one until she could remember nothing about her adventures. Nothing about the TARDIS. Nothing about him.
“Something like that, yeah,” the Doctor said. “I suppose you could say I let her down.”
“Did you acquire another companion?”
He shook his head. He had had enough companions. In the end, they all left. In the end, he was always left heartbroken. He supposed…alone was better. Alone protected him.
Perhaps it was for the best.
(Continuing my own fic because I have nothing better to do at the moment)
—
“Good,” Loki nodded, keeping his eyes fixed on the Doctor. “It’s always better to be alone. You can’t trust others.”
The Doctor met the calm, cold gaze of the God in front of him. It was true that he had changed. The innocence that had once been behind those eyes was now gone and was replaced with something more sinister. Although he was smiling, a chillingly cold iciness still remained in his eyes.
“I wouldn’t say that.”
“Wouldn’t you?” Loki asked softly, his eyes narrowing slightly.
“Why are you doing this, Loki?”
“Doing what? Saving these pathetic humans from themselves? I do it out of the goodness of my heart, Doctor. Nothing more.”
The Doctor shook his head. “No, there’s something else at work here. When I last saw you, you were—”
“—a boy,” Loki hissed, the smile fading away quickly. “Nothing but a stupid, blind, idiotic boy who got tricked into thinking that he was worthy of the throne.”
“That’s not true, and you know it. What’s made you so angry? So…hateful?”
Loki’s smile was completely gone now. He rolled his sleeve up to reveal his grotesquely blue arm. The Doctor frowned, leaning forward for a closer look.
“I am not my father’s son, Doctor. I never was. Do you see this?” he shook the arm in front of the Doctor, his voice becoming louder and louder. “This is what I am, Doctor. I was never as Asgardian. I was never one of them. How could I be? The only reason my father kept me was for his political agenda!”
“Oh, Loki,” the Doctor said softly, reaching for the blue arm. Loki drew it back quickly.
“Do not dare to pity me, Doctor,” he said warningly, his eyes flickering red for a moment. “I have used who I am…what I am…to put myself forward. Isn’t that what you had taught me? Differences aren’t a bad thing.”
“No, they’re not, but—”
“I will prove that I am worthy to be a King!” Loki shouted, his voice reverberating through the room.
“So, that’s what this is about? You want to prove you can be a King?”
Loki swooped down so that his face was inches from the Doctor’s. “Do you know what my father,” he spat the word as if it were something vile, “did to me, Doctor? Did you know that he lied to me my entire life? Did you know that he stole me from the very creatures that he trained me to fight? He raised me to turn against my own kin all the while dangling the throne in front of me, promising it to me when I was older. He said that both my brother and I would be kings. And when I was dangling off of the Bifrost Bridge, he rubbed it in my face. ‘No, Loki,’ he said. Always, always no. It’s not wonder that I’ve become a monster.”
“You’re not a—”
But at this, Loki stumbled backward, his eyes, not a deep red, wide with unrestrained anger, seeming even brighter in his now pale blue face. “LOOK AT ME! IS THIS NOT THE FORM OF A MONSTER?”
The Doctor rose quickly and walked around the table, but Loki stepped backward again.
“DON’T COME NEAR ME!”
But, as always, the Doctor didn’t listen. “We’re all monsters, Loki,” he said loudly. “Every single one of us. Every human, every creature, even me. I’m a monster, too. I’ve killed and I’ve destroyed and all I do is run away! But, you, you are far from a monster. When I met you, you were such a clever boy. You still are.”
“It wasn’t enough,” Loki whispered.
The Doctor suddenly closed the distance between them, drawing the broken God into his arms, ignoring the horrible coldness that entered his bones as soon as he touched him.
“We’re all have monsters within us, yes, but that doesn’t mean that we’re destined to become them.”
He still keeps the phone in his jacket pocket, even though it hasn’t rung in years.
It didn’t ring when all the children stopped in their tracks.
It didn’t even ring when people stopped dying.
But it’s ringing now - and he doesn’t want to answer it, but he has to.
It’s Martha. Of course it’s Martha.
“Doctor,” she says, “She remembered.”
His hearts catch in his chest.
No - he thinks - no, the defense mechanism was supposed to keep her safe. And now it’s one more thing he won’t be able to forgive himself for.
“Is she - ?” He chokes on the next word.
“Oh no. No. Doctor, she’s fine,” Martha quickly assures him, “I don’t know what happened but she’s fine. Her brain hasn’t exploded. She’s okay.”
She’s okay.
He doesn’t know what to say, except to repeat to himself, She’s okay. Donna’s okay. She’s okay.
“She’s waiting for you, Doctor,” Martha tells him, and adds, after a few moments, with that quiet, uncanny intelligence he always wishes he’d been more openly appreciative about, “You can come back now. You can stop running.”——
His fingers tremble as he sets the TARDIS controls for Chiswick.
Doctor Who Meme - [2/2] Quotes
↳”They leave, because they should. Or, they find someone else. And some of them, some of them.. forget me. I suppose in the end, they break my heart.”
